You Can Only Change Yourself

One of many false assumptions made by many individuals in a variety of positions of leadership is having the belief that they have the ability and/ or power to change others. The reality, however is that a leader can only actually change himself, but must realize that in doing so, his actions and behaviors may often influence others to be motivated towards making their own internal changes or behavior modifications. However, before anyone can effectively influence others, he must first address himself, by examining his own behavior and attitude, realizing that others often look to a leader, to take a lead as to what they each should do. Far too often, a leader proceeds with the mistaken belief that he has the ability to change others, and often proceeds with the perception that not only is he able to change others, but also that they should try to change others. While great leaders do often influence others, they cannot change them. The only person a leader can, and must, actually change, is himself.

1. Smart leaders begin by introspectively examining their own attitudes and behaviors, and striving to be their own personal best. How can any leader truly believe he can make needed changes unless he begins by making internal personal changes? Each individual in a position of leader who desires to be a true leader should objectively view his own motivations, actions, behaviors, and attitudes, before proceeding to even attempt to influence others and strive for meaningful changes. Some of the questions each of these individuals should ask himself are: What are his goals and why?; Why should others believe in him and want to follow him?; Has he committed to absolute integrity and transparency?; Do his words and his actions work together in a synergistic manner?

2. It is incumbent on a leader to not anticipate changing others, but rather being a positive influence so that others want to change in a productive and meaningful manner. Each great leader has come to realize that he needs to be the vehicle for the change that he so desires. He doesn't merely complain about what needs to be changed, but rather proceeds with a plan explaining what should be changed, why and most importantly, how, and what the impact will be? He does that by committing to consistently and persistently leading by example, so that others gain confidence in him, and want to follow his lead.

We often hear about the need for change, but a true leader does not merely rely on rhetoric, but converts his vision to a motivating vision to achieve these needed change, in a proactive manner, getting others involved in motivating. They must never complain about or blame others, but rather simply lead the way in a meaningful and motivating manner.

Richard has owned businesses, been a COO, CEO, and Director of Development, as well as a consultant. He has professionally run events, consulted to over a thousand leaders, and conducted personal development seminars, for over 30 years. Rich has written three books and well over a thousand articles. His company, PLAN2LEAD, LLC has an informative website